How is spongebob a tampon

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Basic Tee. Size Type:. Item description Super absorbent. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. Search your favorite one. See full item description.

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Learn more - opens in a new window or tab. There are 6, items available. Please enter a number less than or equal to 6, Select a valid country. Please enter 5 or 9 numbers for the ZIP Code. Delivery times may vary, especially during peak periods. Not even close. Since the bottom of the ocean isn't an ideal spot for raising cattle, you have to assume that The Krusty Krab makes its burgers out of seafood.

At first, you'd think that the restaurant was named after its owner, which is likely true, but it's reasonable to assume that it also serves burgers made out of actual crab meat. And that's not a stretched assumption; hermit crabs regularly eat each other, and actually salivate when they smell the flesh of their dead relatives.

That would explain the demand. Why would a tampon apply for a job at a restaurant where they'd end up working for a seemingly cannibalistic crab? All of the customers are unreasonably annoyed or dumb, and from what we can tell, there is no chance of SpongeBob ever being promoted to a better job or management position. He'll never get to name it The Krusty Sponge ew. The strangely logical explanation is that the dirty vagina of Bikini Bottom must also have crabs.

Why else would a crab serve up the crabs "SpongeBob" has prepared? Also, it explains Mr. Krab's acerbic personality. He is an annoying, angry jerk of the vagina, leaving everyone who interacts with him feeling sore and pissed off. Everyone except SpongeBob, because SpongeBob is a tampon and doesn't have to worry about crabs. He has an immunity to them that the characters in his surrounding area don't. SpongeBob's next-door neighbor is the affable nitwit Patrick Star, whose entire existence is dedicated to making SpongeBob appear smarter than he actually is.

But our pal Patrick isn't a self-regenerating, asexually-reproducing sea creature at all -- he's a butthole. A big ol' human butthole. He lives right next door to SpongeBob, and has the speculative IQ of your average asshole. We really wish that we had some kind of deep implications of this observation, but it's pretty damn straightforward. Plain and simple. Plankton is a tiny pest who dedicates his whole life to messing with SpongeBob, often in an effort to gain access to SpongeBob's Krabby Patty knowledge.

In real life, Plankton serves as one of several possible vag-dwelling planktonic bacteria. Some believe that a common cause of this bacteria is toxic shock syndrome , which happens when you leave a tampon in for too long. He's constantly frustrated by his presence, but needs him in order to prosper. Krabs fits this sin perfectly, since he is obsessed with collecting money just so he can have riches for himself.

Lust: Pearl. Lust is intense sexual desire. Pearl is depicted as boy-crazy and obsessed with male fish stars. Envy: Plankton. Envy is an insatiable desire. Plankton is deeply envious of the success that his rival Mr. Krabs has achieved. Gluttony: Mrs. Gluttony is the overindulgence of food. Puff is shown to adore food, from chocolate cake to pasta, and is fat. Wrath: Squidward. Wrath is uncontrolled feelings of anger and hatred.

Squidward hates his life, his job, his neighbors, and practically everything else about Bikini Bottom. Sloth: Patrick. Sloth is excessive laziness. Patrick is ridiculously lazy; he is unemployed, lives under a rock, and sleeps a lot.

The Drug Theory This theory states that five of the characters are each addicted to a different drug. SpongeBob: Shrooms. SpongeBob has a wild imagination, similar to the mindset of someone tripping on shrooms.

He can go from extreme happiness good trip to complete despair and fear bad trip. He is also usually very happy as shrooms create euphoria. Krabs and Mrs. Puff: Medical cocaine. According to the this site, cocaine users can be irritable and paranoid.

Krabs is very irritable when it comes to his riches and also paranoid about his formula being stolen. Puff is irritable when she has to deal with SpongeBob and has almost PTSD-like bursts of paranoia about crashing a boat. Both of them are also very intense.